


Where to?

by QuaintImperfections



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, hints of romance, tfa but with bodhi in it basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:12:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9301520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuaintImperfections/pseuds/QuaintImperfections
Summary: “I never really see you guys’ faces.” Bodhi tilts his head to the side. “Are you in trouble, Effen?” he asks, and ‘87 is struck by how much the letters sound like an actual word coming from the pilot’s mouth. They sound like a name.He looks down at his helmet, still painted in Slip’s blood. “Big time.”





	1. Finn

**Author's Note:**

> i don't really know what this is don't ask me

“FN-2187. Submit your blaster for inspection.”

He gulps. “Yes, Captain.”

He’s dizzy as he watches Phasma get off the transport. They’re going to see his blaster didn’t malfunction. They’re gonna know he disobeyed. They’re gonna—

“Eff-En?” a voice from further inside the transport inquires. “Eff-En,” it repeats. FN-2187 follows it and sees a man in a pilot’s uniform in the darkness, sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest. ‘87 looks around to make sure nobody’s looking before he crouches to level with the man’s gaze.

“Is this your ship?” he asks. The man nods with a slight smile. “What are you doing here?”

The man lets out a weak chuckle and holds his hand up for FN-2187 to see. It’s shaking like a leaf. “I get nervous,” he explains, and ‘87 wonders how the Order kept someone like him on the job. Has he been hiding his problems all this time? Curling at the back of his own ship after every mission? “I’m Bodhi. Bodhi Rook,” he says before ‘87 can ask him anything. He twists his hand slightly and reaches out to him, and ‘87 hesitates for a second before he shakes it.

“FN-2187,” he says, sort of uselessly. Bodhi nods – he did hear Phasma utter his designation, after all.

“I never really see you guys’ faces.” Bodhi tilts his head to the side. “Are you in trouble, Effen?” he asks, and ‘87 is struck by how much the letters sound like an actual word coming from the pilot’s mouth. They sound like a name.

He looks down at his helmet, still painted in Slip’s blood. “Big time.” He looks at Bodhi again. “Did you see what happened out there?”

“No,” Bodhi says softly. “But I know.” His eyes are kind. “They say it gets easier.” His fist clenches. “It doesn’t.”

‘87 feels his heart race. He doesn’t take his eyes off Bodhi as he comes to a decision. “I don’t want it to,” he says, voice firm. He doesn’t know why, he doesn’t know how, but he knows that Bodhi is someone he can trust. “I don’t want to kill for them.”

Bodhi’s eyes widen and he leans in closer to ‘87. “What are you going to do, Effen?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I don’t know, Bodhi. Do you—” his gaze catches on Bodhi’s parted lips, the yearning in his eyes. “You want to run, too,” he realizes, and hope blossoms in his chest. He clutches at Bodhi’s arms. “Bodhi, can you get us out of here?”

“No,” Bodhi says, frustrated. “This ship’s too big. Too slow. We’ll never make it.”

‘87 sighs. “Think, think,” he murmurs, rubbing his forehead. What can they do? Where would they even go? He’s been on base all his life, doesn’t know anyone anywhere that would be willing to help. He’s only ever been on Jakku and— “Jakku,” he whispers. “ _Jakku_! They got that Resistance pilot! Maybe he can lead us to their base!”

“The Resistance,” Bodhi whispers, reverent almost. But then he shakes his head. “How, Effen?”

‘87 looks outside again. “Can you fly a TIE?”

Bodhi’s eyes widen again. “Effen...”

“We can do this,” ‘87 says, squeezing the pilot’s shoulders. “Bodhi, we can. I’ll get the pilot. He’ll get us out of here.”

Bodhi looks down at his hands, fingers digging into his own palms. He breathes, heavier with every second, until he meets ‘87’s eyes again. He nods. “We can do this.”

***

“If you do exactly as I say, I can get you out of here.”

The Resistance pilot looks at him like he’s speaking in another language. “What?” 

‘87 removes his helmet and the pilot takes his appearance in. “This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape.”

“ _What?_ ” the pilot asks again and leans in closer. “Are you with the Resistance?”

‘87 huffs. “No, I’m breaking you out. Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

The pilot looks almost offended. “I can fly anything,” he says, and ‘87 feels his face split into a grin. “But why are you helping me?”

‘87 bites his lip, wondering what to say. He decides on honesty. “My... My friend and I. We have nowhere to go. I was hoping you could lead us somewhere, or point the way, at least.”

The pilot frowns. “A TIE can only fit two people.”

“That’s why we’re stealing two,” ‘87 says, and the man all but beams at him.

***

They enter the hangar bay and ‘87’s eyes frantically search for Bodhi. There’s some kind of commotion and Bodhi yells, “Effen, now!” and ‘87 breaks into a run, drags the Resistance pilot with him to the nearest two-man TIE fighter.

The pilot talks him through the controls and ‘87 does his best to convince both of them that he’s got it. “Is there some way we can talk to my friend?”

As if on cue, he hears a tinny voice somewhere near the controls. He finds a headset and puts it on. “Bodhi?”

“Effen!”

“Is this channel secure?”

“Yes, they can’t hear,” Bodhi assures him. “The docking cable,” he warns, frantic.

“I’m on it,” the Resistance pilot replies and ‘87 tries the blasters at the ‘troopers swarming Bodhi’s fighter. They scatter.

“Effen, I don’t have a gunner.”

“We’ve got your back,” ‘87 assures him. “Just get out of here, Bodhi.”

“Where to?”

“Jakku,” the Resistance pilot says. “We need to go back to Jakku.”

‘87 shakes his head before he realizes no one can see him. “Jakku’s too close. It’s suicide.”

“We have to,” the pilot insists. “I’ve gotta get my droid.”

“Your _droid_?” ‘87 and Bodhi ask at the same time.

“Yes, my droid. I’ll explain later. It’s important, you have to believe me,” the pilot pleads as they shoot off into space.

“Bodhi?” ‘87 inquires.

“Right behind you,” Bodhi says, and then they’re too busy fighting off the Order for a while.

“Okay,” Bodhi says in the end. “What does your droid look like?”

“A BB unit, orange and white. It’s one of a kind.”

‘87 huffs. “Is that why it’s so special? Who cares what color it is!”

“What he’s carrying is important. He’s got a map to Luke Skywalker.”

There’s silence for a moment before Bodhi whispers, “Luke Skywalker.”

“We need to get to him. He’s the only hope we have.” The pilot sighs. “I’m Poe, by the way. Poe Dameron. And you are Bodhi? And Effin?”

‘87 laughs. “FN-2187.”

“Ef... What?”

“That’s the only name they ever gave me.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m using it, then,” Poe says. “Finn. Can I call you Finn? Is that alright?”

“Finn,” he says, just to hear the way it sounds. “Finn. Yeah. Yeah, I like it!” ‘8— Finn says. “Bodhi, did you hear? My name is Finn!”

“I heard! It’s _e_ _ffin’_ awesome!” Bodhi says, and Finn chokes on his laughter when their fighter gives a violent jerk.

It all happens way too fast after that. They’re spinning out of control and all three of them are yelling and all Finn remembers before the darkness takes him is ejecting and praying both his friends make it out alive.


	2. Poe

“Poe? Poe Dameron, is this you?”

 _Who?_ He doesn’t remember much. All he knows is that his head hurts and that he both needs to stay here—wherever _here_ is—and get offworld immediately. He looks up and squints, trying to focus on what the person in front of him is saying.

“I think you might have a concussion. Your forehead is swollen here—sorry, sorry, that probably hurt,” he says quickly and withdraws his hand, and Poe—is that his name?—sees the patch on his arm. Anger swells inside him and he grabs the man’s jacket, pulling him closer.

“You with the Order?” he grunts in his face, satisfied as the man in front of him tries to cower away despite Poe’s obvious lack of strength.

“What? No, no! I _defected!_ Poe, it’s me! It’s Bodhi, Bodhi Rook!”

Poe frowns, trying to remember, and his head pulses so hard it makes him feel sick. He closes his eyes. “Bodhi Rook,” he murmurs and looks at him again, putting the man’s voice to what happened before, and he has to clutch at his shoulders as the memories wash over him. “Bodhi,” he says, awed, shaking him a bit. “Bodhi, you made it!”

Bodhi laughs in delight as Poe pulls him in for a quick hug. “I did! But—”

“Finn,” Poe whispers as he pulls away. “Where’s Finn?”

Bodhi shakes his head and Poe’s stomach sinks. “I couldn’t find him. I tried to follow where you crashed but there was no sign of him. I saw you in the distance and decided to catch up to you.”

“He ejected,” Poe remembers. “Before we crashed.”

“So he’s okay, then?”

“Maybe.”

“He’s okay,” Bodhi decides. “He can survive this.”

Poe gives him a little smile. “Have you been friends long?”

Bodhi laughs at that. “We met a few minutes before he came to get you.”

Poe frowns. “Really? He called you his friend. More than once.”

“He did?” Bodhi shakes his head in disbelief. There’s both hope and sadness in his eyes. “We need to find him.”

“We will,” Poe promises. “But we can’t do it alone. We need to get out of here, go to the Resistance – they have the resources we need to find both Finn and my droid. They need to know what happened.”

“The Resistance.” Bodhi hesitates. “You think I’d be welcome there?”

“Of course. Not in that uniform, maybe,” Poe says with a grin. “But once they know what you did, it’ll be alright.”

Bodhi looks down at his clothes. “I should get rid of it, huh.” He shrugs the jacket off to reveal a thin undershirt. “I kind of wanted to keep it. To remember what I actually did. What I escaped from.”

“I’ll be here to remind you if you need it, pal,” Poe says, squeezing his shoulder. “Once my head gets better, I’ll probably remember to do it myself, too.”

Bodhi laughs and throws the jacket to the side. When they decide his pants are inconspicuous enough he keeps them on, then slings Poe’s arm over his shoulders and the two of them start making their way through the Jakku desert.

“What happened to your TIE, anyway?” Poe asks.

Bodhi snorts and shakes his head. “Nerves got the better of me. Crashed it right before I landed. Barely made it out of the kriffing thing before it sank into the sands.”

“Lucky,” Poe says, and Bodhi hums in assent.

He talks Poe’s ear off afterwards, babbling about nothing and everything, and Poe is grateful for it, grateful for the company and the support and the distraction from the pain. But it’s also worrying – isn’t Bodhi tired? Isn’t he hungry? How is his mouth not as dry as the sands they’re walking on yet? How can he stand the heat?

“I grew up on a desert moon, you know,” he says, and Poe thinks that that explains it, but then, “it just wasn’t as hot. Quite the opposite, actually. Still, you’d think I’d be better at navigating. There’s no—” he stops, and Poe looks at him, then follows his gaze that’s set on something straight ahead of them. His jaw drops.

A speeder. They’re saved.

***

“You said you grew up somewhere else,” Poe remembers once they’re safe in a transport to D’Qar. “You weren’t born into the Order?”

Bodhi shakes his head and sits on the cot. “I was sixteen.” He doesn’t volunteer more information, so Poe just nods and turns around. Better let them both rest for now.

“Poe?” Bodhi inquires and Poe turns to him again. “Can I ask you something? About the Resistance?”

“Can’t promise an answer,” Poe warns, and Bodhi nods.

“Is about your medical resources,” Bodhi says, and it’s the last thing Poe expected. “There’s... Something I’m going to need, if I’m to stay. I’ll work for it, of course,” he assures him, but Poe shakes his head.

“You don’t need to work for your health. Do you have some kind of injury?”

“No,” Bodhi replies softly.

“Something for your nerves?”

A shake of his head.

“Hey,” Poe says, and gives Bodhi a friendly smile when he looks up. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s up, buddy.”

Bodhi shakes his head again, his hands rubbing against the fabric of his pants.

“Of course, if you only want talk to a doctor, that’s fine, too,” Poe hurries to add, feeling like an ass for making Bodhi so nervous.

“It’s hormone replacement,” Bodhi blurts out and looks up at Poe as if awaiting his judgement.

Poe feels an instant surge of protectiveness rise up in his chest. He knows the treatment is expensive and probably was not easy for Bodhi to acquire. “One of my pilots,” he says, “they provided for her. I’ll make sure they take care of you, as well,” he promises. Bodhi’s shoulders relax. “Get some rest, buddy. You’ll be fine.”

“Yes. Thank you, Poe,” he says. Poe smiles and leaves.


	3. Bodhi

Once they land on base, it’s chaos. 

What feels like hundreds of people swarm around them—around Poe—and there’s too many voices, too many questions thrown at them. Bodhi wants to slink away, go back on the ship, back to the quiet, but there’s an arm around his shoulders and he looks at Poe.

“You alright?” Poe asks, then grins when Bodhi just looks at him helplessly. “Come on. We need to report to the General.”

“The General?”

“Leia Organa,” Poe says, and Bodhi doesn’t know what the expression on his face looks like, but it makes Poe laugh. “Come on.”

He stumbles along and tries to take in his surroundings, but in the end finds that focusing on Poe and keeping up with his pace makes his breathing calm a little. The next hour is a bit of a haze as they’re questioned and Bodhi wishes he could shrink himself whenever someone speaks to him.

“I don’t know much,” he says, apologetic. “I’m just a pilot, I... Finn,” he turns to Poe. “Finn would know, he was a ‘trooper. We need to find him,” he pleads, but the only support he gets is hidden in Poe’s eyes. The General’s voice is surprisingly gentle when she replies, but he doesn’t want to hear it, he can’t hear it, the world around him blurs and he’s falling, and arms are around him again.

“Hey, hey, buddy,” Poe says, leads him to a chair. “You alright?”

“I don’t know,” Bodhi says, palms pressing against his eyes. He doesn’t remember when he last ate. He lets his hands down and settles them on Poe’s shoulders when he sees the man is kneeling before him. “Poe, we need to find him.”

“We will,” Poe promises. “You need to rest now.”

“And you?” Bodhi asks, fingers hovering over Poe’s forehead. The swelling has gone down a bit, but Poe still looks a little rough, and his eyes are haunted in a way that Bodhi knows has more to do with Kylo Ren than a lack of sleep.

“I’ll be okay,” Poe replies with a small smile. His hand lightly settles on Bodhi’s knee but before he can speak again a protocol droid barges into the command center.

“Princess—General! I need a moment of your time!”

“What is it, Threepio?” Leia Organa asks, a little exasperated.

“I have located Beebee-Ate!” Poe’s hand squeezes Bodhi’s knee. “At this moment he is on Takodana, Maz Kanata’s castle.”

Poe’s head snaps back to Bodhi, his gaze intense. “Go,” Bodhi tells him, and he feels his cheeks get warmer when Poe bites on his lip, eyes still on Bodhi. “Get your droid,” Bodhi murmurs, and Poe pats his knee before he gets up from his crouch.

He doesn’t look at Bodhi again, and Bodhi’s knee feels too cold suddenly, and he feels unsafe without the pilot close to him. No one pays attention to him, though, gearing up to go to Takodana, rushing to get to the droid before the Order does. The noise is too much, and it makes Bodhi feel all jittery, and when the protocol droid from before approaches him it comes as a relief.

“Officer Bodhi Rook?

“Not anymore,” Bodhi replies. “I’m not an officer,” he explains. “I defected.”

“Of course, sir. I am C-3PO. Please allow me to take you to the medbay for a thorough examination.”

Part of Bodhi wants to stay here, follow how the mission goes, but then he catches some of the looks the people give him and he takes a deep breath. He gets up. “Lead the way, Threepio.”

***

He gets a small meal, even naps a bit before they return. He rushes out along with everyone else and watches the squadron land. He spots Poe immediately, but he’s not the first to reach him.

He slows down as he watches the men embrace and talk, standing close to each other. He can see that Poe is beaming, and something swells in his chest the closer he gets. When he’s a few steps away he sees Poe nod towards him. The other man turns around and Bodhi stops dead in his tracks.

It’s Finn.

Before he knows it Finn is holding Bodhi to his chest, and he’s alive, _you’re alive—_

“I am,” Finn says, “I am. You alright?”

“Yeah, I—Finn.” Bodhi swallows around the lump in his throat. “Finn. _Thank you_ ,” he whispers, and Finn shakes his head, but Bodhi insists. “I’d still be there if it wasn’t for you. Thank you.”

“You’d have made it out,” Finn assures him. “One way or another. What’s important now is that you’re alive. I’m so glad you made it!”

“Me, too,” Bodhi says with a smile. Poe steps closer to them and as Bodhi looks from one to the other, he briefly wonders if one could fall for two people at once.

“You completed my mission,” Poe is saying, and Finn turns to him again and rushes out an explanation, begs Poe for help. They run off to the command center again.

Bodhi watches them plan their next move, feeling an odd sense of pride whenever Finn speaks up. When he volunteers to help, the room falls silent for a bit.

“With all due respect, General,” a man says, and Bodhi can’t see him well enough to figure out his rank. “I think it’s dangerous enough to put one defector on this mission—”

Murmurs start across the room but the General nips the argument in the bud with a simple raise of her hand. “My bigger concern is Mr. Rook’s health. I would not have him risk his life for us before he’s given the chance to recover from the damage done by the Order.”

It’s a slap in the face, and it’s bullshit—Finn has been through the same, even worse, and he gets to go?—but Bodhi sees the long look the General gives him. It’s a flimsy excuse, everyone knows it, but it’s the only way they can reach a compromise and stop wasting time before the mission. He stays put where they can watch him, make sure he’s on their side, while the ones capable do what they have to do.

“Thank you, General. I appreciate your concern,” he says, voice carefully measured, and that’s that. The General nods and Bodhi looks around the room. It takes him a moment to figure out why his gaze catches on one of the men, and then he recognizes him. Han Solo.

It finally hits Bodhi where he is, that he’s with the Resistance now, and that once this mission is over he’ll get the chance to get everyone’s trust and—

Solo notices him staring and gives him a little nod. Bodhi looks away, flustered, and tries to focus on the conversation going on.

He barely has time to talk to Finn and Poe, wishing them luck before they’re needed and he has to get out of the way.

The mission is agony. They send him back to the medbay; it’s easier than assigning quarters to him, and less hostile than locking him in a cell. Dr. Kalonia keeps an eye on him and gives him a datapad to distract him, but it’s been too long since he’s had any time to himself so it’s not long before he gets restless. He doesn’t think he’s allowed to leave, so he curls on the cot and closes his eyes, determined to rest even if he doesn’t sleep.

That’s why he’s disoriented when he wakes to a commotion. When he cracks the door open and looks out, he’s ushered out of the medbay altogether and finds himself in a waiting room that contains only one other person.

“Did you see him?” the woman asks him. “Did they say something?”

“See who?” he asks, voice rough with sleep.

“Finn. He was—”

“Finn is hurt?” Bodhi says and turns around, but when he faces the closed doors realizes he’d just be in the way if he tried getting in.

“You know him?” the woman asks, voice becoming softer. “You’re Bodhi, right? I just met Poe outside.”

“Yes, I’m Bodhi. You’re Rey?” He realizes and walks up to her. “You’re alright?” he inquires, inspecting her face.

“I am, yes. But Finn got hurt. We were fighting Kylo Ren and—what?” She frowns when Bodhi lets out a little noise at the mention of the name.

“You fought Kylo Ren?” he whispers.

“Yes,” she says, anticipating his next words.

“You’re my hero,” Bodhi says, with feeling, and Rey laughs. “No, really, you don’t know—” or maybe she does. She was taken. Bodhi knows what Ren did to Poe, what he probably did to Rey, what he’d done to—“Is he dead?”

“No,” Rey replies, and Bodhi nods. There’s silence for a moment that gives him the chance to wake up a little.

“Wait,” he says. “You just came back. Don’t you need to talk to someone? About the mission?”

“Yes, but... I wanted to stay,” she admits quietly. “He came back for me. I can’t leave him now.”

Bodhi smiles a little, awed at the ease with which Finn makes friends and wins their fierce loyalty. “I’ll stay,” he promises. “As soon as his condition is clear, I’ll come find you.”

“You’d do that?” she says with a grateful smile. She reaches for him, seems to reconsider, and squeezes his shoulders. Bodhi wants to let her know it’s okay if she wants to give him a hug, but then she says, “You’re brilliant, Bodhi. I can see why he likes you.” She squeezes him again and stalks off before Bodhi has the chance to reply.

***

Bodhi is way too thrilled to be the one next to Finn when he first wakes up.

He reaches out and talks to the man as softly as he can as Finn frantically looks around, disoriented. “I’ll remove that, now,” and gently pulls away the mask from his nose and mouth. Finn blinks and tries to focus on him.

 _Bodhi?_ his lips form, but he can’t figure out how to voice it.

“Yes, it’s me,” Bodhi says. “We’re on D’Qar, the Resistance’s base. You’re recovering after a fight against Kylo Ren,” he explains, and he can’t keep the grin off his face as he talks of the sheer _awesome_ things his friend did.

“Rey?” Finn manages to whisper.

“She’s safe. She fought him off and carried you away before Starkiller exploded, how cool is that? Sorry,” he says when Finn’s chuckle turns into a cough. “Do you want some water?” he asks and adjusts Finn’s bed until he’s sitting up. “She’s with Skywalker now. Rey. She said she’ll miss you very much and hopes to see you soon,” he adds, sitting at the edge of the bed.

Finn nods, a gentle smile on his face. “Poe?”

“He’s here. He’s been busy, but he came to visit you a few times.”

Finn frowns at that. “And you?”

“Me?” Bodhi chuckles, a little awkward. “I’ve been... Here. People keep insisting that I need recovery even though I feel fine.”

“Sorry to break it to you, buddy, but you look like shit,” Finn says, surprising a laughter out of Bodhi.

“You’re one to talk,” he tries to tease, but it makes no sense, because even after a week in a hospital bed Finn looks radiant when he smiles. “The doctor needs to check on you now, but I’ll be here, alright?”

“Yeah, sure,” Finn says with a smile. “Hey, Bodhi.” He tugs on Bodhi’s sleeve. “We made it out. We’re here.”

Bodhi nods. “We did. And then you saved the galaxy. It’s true,” he says when Finn rolls his eyes. “Get used to being admired.”

Finn raises an eyebrow. “You admire me?”

“Of course I do. You’re a hero, Finn. I knew it the moment you approached me on that transport.” Finn reaches to squeeze his hand and Bodhi clears his throat. “I’ll get Doctor Kalonia now. And tell Poe you’re awake, he’ll be happy to see you,” he says and gets up.

“Thank you, Bodhi,” Finn says, sincere.

“Anything for you, Finn,” Bodhi says and walks out.


End file.
